our lady

this afternoon i took one of our trucks down to state surplus. it has transmission problems. the last truck i took to state surplus had all kinds of problems that stemmed from my hitting a deer with it at 60 mph. but that's not today's story.

while at surplus, i took a moment before heading back to the office to browse through the piles of junk in the warehouse, not expecting to find anything of interest. there were the usual bookcases, odds-n-ends pieces of office cubicles, a salad bar, an egg refrigerator, many many outdated computer monitors and cpu's, and then a rather large pile of brand new, in-the-plastic our lady of gaudalupe fleece blankets! what? who surplussed those?

i asked the office manager on my way out how so many our ladys came to rest in the state surplus warehouse. and this is the story: a semi truck loaded with plastic folding tables and fleece blankets - you know, the ones you see hanging heavily from clotheslines at roadside stands on hot summer days - was passing through Nebraska and was pulled over for some infraction or another. officer on duty thought the driver was acting a little funny, so he got permission to search the trailer and cast aside the blankets and tables to find a shiny, brand new floor, just installed. k-9 unit jumped on top of it and raised a ruckus. and that's how the virgin got here.

what interests me most about this story is that along with our lady came blankets adorned with motorcycles, packs of wolves, confederate flags, you name it - you've seen them i'm sure. all of those blankets cleared out at public auction and brought a pretty fair price according to the office manager, but our lady remains stacked in the warehouse awaiting the next auction. apparently religious icons don't appeal to the fleece blanket crowd as much as unicorns and wolves.

in any case, should anyone wish to dress up their guest bed or living room futon with a plush virgin of guadalupe at a fraction of the roadside price, head down to the state surplus auction on april 12. i'll probably be there.